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Facilitated Conversation FAQs

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What is a facilitated conversation?

A facilitated conversation is an approach to conflict resolution that involves parties in a dispute sitting together with an impartial third party to discuss the conflict from their perspective; listen to the other person’s perspective; seek to understand each other’s needs and interests, and then work together to negotiate a plan for moving forward. It is an informal service offered by the Office of the Ombuds, free of charge, to members of the Stanford community.

When are facilitated conversation appropriate?

A facilitated conversation may be appropriate to help resolve interpersonal and professional disputes, as long as both parties are interested in meeting together to share their perspectives on the situation; listen to the other person’s perspectives, and work together toward improving their shared situation.

When would a facilitated conversation with the Ombuds not be appropriate?

A facilitated conversation is NOT appropriate if part of a formal process or if someone is being required to participate (i.e. their participation is not voluntary). It is also not appropriate if a participant does not feel able to share their perspective on the situation and listen to the other person’s perspective, or when their true goal is to have a decisionmaker decide who is right or wrong in a dispute. In addition, while facilitated conversations can be very helpful to resolve interpersonal conflicts, they are not appropriate in every situation, and the Ombuds reserves the right to decline to host a facilitated conversation if she feels the dispute is not appropriate to the process.

Can I be required to attend a facilitated conversation with the Ombuds?

No. The Ombuds will only facilitate a conversation if participation is voluntary. In addition, any party, at any time and for any reason, can decide to withdraw from a facilitated conversation.

What is the Ombuds' role during a facilitated conversation?

The Ombuds acts to facilitate dialogue and understanding during the conversation and to keep the conversation safe and equitable. She also may ask questions to help clarify information. She will try and facilitate the parties’ understanding of eachother’s needs and interests and then help them hopefully move forward to brainstorming solutions. If an agreement is made, she may memorialize that agreement for the participants. The Ombuds will NOT judge who is right or wrong in the conversation and she has no decision-making power. All decision-making power rests with the participants.

I have tried talking about this issue before, how is a facilitated conversation different?

A facilitated conversation with the Ombuds can help to increase the safety of the conversation and disrupt unhelpful conversation patterns that might have impaired past conversations between the participants. The facilitated conversation process can often help participants uncover underlying needs and interests that may have become obscured by the emotions surrounding the conflict, and allow them to gain a better understanding not only of their own needs and interests, but also those of the other participant. Ultimately, the goal of a facilitated conversation is to help resolve the conflict, improve communication patterns and help the participants agree on a path forward.

How do I start the process for a facilitated conversation?

If you feel that a facilitated conversation might be helpful, then you should reach out to the Ombuds to schedule an appointment. In that appointment, the Ombuds will talk to you about the issue or conflict from your perspective and seek to understand your goals for a facilitated conversation. She will also explain the process and answer any questions you may have. If, after that meeting, you continue to feel that a facilitated conversation would be beneficial, then in most cases she will ask you to invite the person with whom you would like to have that conversation to reach out to her as well, so she can meet individually with them to explain the process and understand their goals. After the individual meetings, if both parties and the Ombuds are in agreement that a facilitated conversation seems appropriate, then a joint session is scheduled.

What happens during a facilitated conversation?

Generally, the Ombuds will open the facilitated session with a review of her role and an overview of the process. She will introduce conversation protocols to increase safety during the conversation, and will seek the parties input regarding additional protocols they wish to offer. She will then lead each participant to share the issue/conflict from their perspective, as well as how they have been impacted. She will help the parties ask questions of eachother to better understand one another’s perspective and once understanding is achieved, will help the participants brainstorm possible solutions and a path forward. If helpful, she will memorialize any agreement made by the parties.

Will a record be made of the facilitated conversation?

No. Although the Ombuds is happy to assist the participants in drafting a documents that reflects agreements reached during their facilitated conversation, she does not retain a copy of that agreement nor would she provide it to anyone else at the university.

If I agree to participate, am I required to agree to a solution?

No. While the goal of a facilitated conversation is to reach some type of agreement, it is up to the parties whether this happens or not, and no one will be required to agree to a resolution with which they are uncomfortable.

How do I prepare for a facilitated conversation?

Come to the conversation prepared to explain the issue from your perspective and ready to listen to the issue from the other person’s perspective. If you have ideas for resolution, you are welcome to bring them. If so, think about how they meet your needs, the other person’s needs and the needs of your larger community (e.g. lab, department etc.).

Can I still pursue a formal process?

Yes. Participating in a facilitated conversation does not waive any formal options you may have. Any agreements made in the mediation are for the benefit of the participants and are informal and non-binding.

I have questions that were not answered by these FAQ's.

Please reach out to the Ombuds with any questions you might have about the facilitated conversation process. She can be reached at ombuds@stanford.edu or 650.497.1542.